My name is Rhoda Morgenstern. I was born in the Bronx, New York in December of 1941. I’ve always felt responsible for World War II. The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was food. I had a bad puberty; it lasted seventeen years. I’m a high school graduate. I went to art school.

My entrance exam was on a book of matches. I decided to move out of the house when I was twenty-four. My mother still refers to this as the time I ran away from home. Eventually, I ran to Minneapolis, where it’s cold and I figured I’d keep better. Now I’m back in Manhattan. New York, this is your last chance!

It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of Life! Nothing gets to you, stayin’ fresh, stayin’ cool, with Mentos fresh and full of life! Fresh goes better! Mentos freshness! Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life! Mentos! The Freshmaker!

1. Shanghai Maglev, 431 kmph, China

This is the theme to Garry’s show, The theme to Garry’s show. Garry called me up and asked if I would right his theme song. I’m almost halfway finished, how do you like it so far, How do you like the theme to Garry’s show? This is the theme to Garry’s show, the opening theme to Garry’s show.

This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We’re almost to the part of where I start to whistle. Then we’ll watch “It’s Garry Shandling’s Show”. This was the theme to Garry Shandling’s show.

2. Harmony CRH 380A, 380 kmph, China

Wally Gator is a swinging alligator in the swamp. He’s the greatest percolator when he really starts to romp. There has never been a greater operator in the swamp. See ya later, Wally Gator.

They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky. They’re all together ooky, the Addams Family. Their house is a museum where people come to see ’em. They really are a scream, the Addams Family. Neat. Sweet. Petite. So get a witches shawl on, a broomstick you can crawl on. We’re gonna pay a call on the Addams Family.

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing, everyone knows it’s Slinky. It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky, for fun it’s a wonderful toy. It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky, it’s fun for a girl or a boy. It’s fun for a girl or boy!

3. AGV Italo, 360 kmph, Italy

It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of Life! Nothing gets to you, stayin’ fresh, stayin’ cool, with Mentos fresh and full of life! Fresh goes better! Mentos freshness! Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life! Mentos! The Freshmaker!

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!

4. Siemens Velaro E/AVS 103, 350 kmph, Spain

My name is Rhoda Morgenstern. I was born in the Bronx, New York in December of 1941. I’ve always felt responsible for World War II. The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was food. I had a bad puberty; it lasted seventeen years. I’m a high school graduate. I went to art school. My entrance exam was on a book of matches.

I decided to move out of the house when I was twenty-four. My mother still refers to this as the time I ran away from home. Eventually, I ran to Minneapolis, where it’s cold and I figured I’d keep better. Now I’m back in Manhattan. New York, this is your last chance!

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. There’s a time you got to go and show you’re growin’ now you know about the facts of life, the facts of life. When the world never seems to be livin up to your dreams and suddenly you’re finding out the facts of life are all about you.

5. Talgo 350, 350 kmph, Spain

Your tread must be light and sure, as though your path were upon rice paper. It is said, a Shaolin priest can walk through walls. Looked for, he can not be seen. Listened for, he can not be heard. Touched, can not be felt. This rice paper is the test. Fragile as the wings of the dragonfly, clinging as the cocoon of the silk worm. When you can walk its length and leave no trace. You will have learned.

It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights. It’s time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight! It’s time to put on makeup, it’s time to dress up right. It’s time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight. Why do we always come here? I guess we’ll never know.

It’s like a kind of torture to have to watch the show! And now let’s get things started – why don’t you get things started? It’s time to get things started on the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational… This is what we call the Muppet Show!