Green Acres is the place to be. Farm livin’ is the life for me. Land spreadin’ out so far and wide. Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside. New York is where I’d rather stay.

I get allergic smelling hay. I just adore a penthouse view. Darling I love you but give me Park Avenue. The chores! The stores! Fresh air! Times Square! You are my wife. Good bye, city life. Green Acres we are there!

We’ve got a gorilla for sale. Magilla Gorilla for sale. Won’t you buy him, take him home and try him, gorilla for sale. Don’t you want a little gorilla you can call your own, a gorilla who’ll be with ya when you’re all alone? How much is that gorilla in the window? Take our advice, at any price, a gorilla like Magilla is mighty nice. Gorilla, Magilla Gorilla for sale.

What you are about to see is real; the litigants on the screen are not actors. They are genuine citizens who, having filed their claims in a real small claims court, have been persuaded to drop their suits there and have them settled here, in this forum… the People’s Court.

My name is Rhoda Morgenstern. I was born in the Bronx, New York in December of 1941. I’ve always felt responsible for World War II. The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was food. I had a bad puberty; it lasted seventeen years. I’m a high school graduate. I went to art school. My entrance exam was on a book of matches.

I decided to move out of the house when I was twenty-four. My mother still refers to this as the time I ran away from home. Eventually, I ran to Minneapolis, where it’s cold and I figured I’d keep better. Now I’m back in Manhattan. New York, this is your last chance!

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. There’s a time you got to go and show you’re growin’ now you know about the facts of life, the facts of life. When the world never seems to be livin up to your dreams and suddenly you’re finding out the facts of life are all about you.