My name is Rhoda Morgenstern. I was born in the Bronx, New York in December of 1941. I’ve always felt responsible for World War II. The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was food. I had a bad puberty; it lasted seventeen years. I’m a high school graduate.

I went to art school. My entrance exam was on a book of matches. I decided to move out of the house when I was twenty-four. My mother still refers to this as the time I ran away from home. Eventually, I ran to Minneapolis, where it’s cold and I figured I’d keep better. Now I’m back in Manhattan. New York, this is your last chance!

Love, exciting and new. Come aboard, we’re expecting you. Love, life’s sweetest reward. Let it flow, it floats back to you. The Love Boat soon will be making another run. The Love Boat promises something for everyone. Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. Love won’t hurt anymore. It’s an open smile on a friendly shore. Yes, love! It’s love!

Here’s the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one in curls. Here’s the store, of a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men, living all together, yet they were all alone.

‘Til the one day when the lady met this fellow. And they knew it was much more than a hunch, that this group would somehow form a family. That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch, the Brady Bunch. That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch!